Autisim Update

Since its been a while since I've talked about how Kaden's doing with his autisim I figured it would be a good time to do one.  The last few weeks have been tough on us and not because of Kaden, but due to his therapy being cancled.  If there is one thing I'm learning through this process its that the military needs to get their behinds in gear and start finding ways to get inside help for kids with special needs so that we don't go to the civilan sector for it.  The reason I say this is because of what we've had to deal with lately with Kaden's therapy.

ABA therapy is expensive.  As I was just told in the civilan sector it costs almost $13,000 a month for this therapy that Kaden is going through.  We are tremendously blessed that we have Tri-care which is covering the costs and that we don't have to figure out ways to cover them.  Military insurance is one of the few that do cover these types of costs in the insurance.  Most civilains insurance companies don't.  However that also means that we get a lot of crap along the way when trying to get these services too.  Unlike when you're a civilain and go to get a referal for medical services of any kind (I do know what I'm talking about here, we were at one time a civilian family) its super easy.  They check your insurance and see which drs you can see for that referal.  Military insurance is VERY different.  Your dr has to put the request into tri-care and then they pick if you can see that said specialist or if they will deny what you need. 

With Kaden, we had to fight to even see an autisim specialist to get his diagnosis then we had to fight to get the services he now has.  However some of the services were cut off just as fast by tri-care as they approved of them.  With ABA we've not had a problem with them accepting the costs or any of the things that go along with it.  We have had issues of the civilian agency kicking us out due to "budget cuts".  Now if you don't know CA can't budget to save their lives.  So last month during an contract renewal (his contract was only for 6 months) the agency that we've been going through for his services told me that after a 3 month renewal Kaden would no longer be recieving services with them due to budget cuts oh and that we're military and they have been ordered by the state to cut off services to military families first.

Yeah that was a lot of fun to hear come from the very place that we were told to go to for the therapy by the Navy, because the Navy doesn't have the ability to do this therapy at all.  We are now going through a phase out program for Kaden's therapy as a result of CA's budget issues and that we're military.  To make things all that more fun I came to learn more of why Kaden was being kicked out by the supervisor over his ABA therapy and that ticked me off even more.  Its not just the money or that we're military that we're getting kicked out but because Kaden is now 5 years old and they don't do services for kids over the age of 4.  With autisim there is only a short window of opportunity to help them out before the help will no longer work. 

Kaden has 3 years before that window of opportunity closes on him.  Now, he's come a long way in the last year with the ABA, school program he's in (which is actually been a world of good for him), and simply because Jay and I refuse to give up on him or his potential but he does have more work a head of him.  In just the time Jay's been deployed (which thankfully is coming to an end) he has grown in ways that I never could have imagined.  His vocabulary and speech have dramatically improved (we still have some work to go in this area), his behaviors are getting better, his compliancy issues are slowly going away and he's all around acting and behaving more like your typical 5 year old boy than the autism side that we've seen for so long.  Mind you, that side does show up when he's frustrated of focused on something like a movie or video game, but most of the time unless you know he has autisim you can't tell.

In just the last 6 months Kaden went from very little potty training to he's now fully potty trained, which was a goal I had from the start of this deployment for him.  He'll be fully potty trained, and already is, by the time Jay gets home.  And that brings me to Jay and Kaden.  Each port Jay has hit he's tried to get on the webcam to see me and the kids some.  Most of the ports Kaden wouldn't say much beyond a "hi Daddy" and then go off and play.  The last two ports have been an entirely different story.  I've had to fight for time with Jay via webcam because Kaden just had to tell Jay everything that was going on with him.  Had to tell him all about school and his new toys and just talk to him.  This is a huge change for all of us and its been an amazing process to watch.  Jay will be blown away by the changes he's seen in Kaden via webcam and I know that once he's home those changes will be even more evident.

So due to his therapy getting cut off here in 3 months the fight to get him the help he needs begins once again.  We're lucky that his autisim dr is a great dr and works for the navy so we'll have his help in getting things fixed and the help Kaden needs back.  Over all we feel truly blessed to be living here in San Diego where they have some of the best resources in the nation (VA is the only other place that offers the best quality of care for kids with autisim, military wise) and know that its where we're supposed to be for the time being.

Olive Garden with the girls

Yup went out to lunch with my fellow Navy wives again to Olive Garden.  It was a really enjoyable time and it felt great to get out of the house.  I really enjoy these get togethers since I don't get out of the house much with Kaden's current schedule of ABA and school.  The kids had fun and for the most part they behaved.  Kaden just had a hard time sitting still while we waited on the food. 

 Annabelle was happy just to sit with me at any time.

 Jen and Amity

 Whitney and Brandi

 Kaden beeing a goof

Nicole and Jen

 Sarah and Katy

These get togethers are so much fun and they wipe the kids out completely.  After we were done with lunch the kids and I went over to the book store and got a few new books.  It was a really nice Saturday outting.

Port Call: Hong Kong!!

Jay was just in his very favorite and last port of this deployment, Hong Kong in China. Most of the goodies Jay brings home for us come from this port and there is so much to do and see here. This time around Jay got to take a tour of a Budist Temple.  Most of the photos he sent me are from that tour.

 Jay told me that each one of these statues is hand done and very unique.

 They went to a fish market

 This is a wall of the names of a family's ancestors.  It is in a Ancestrial shrine.

 This is the outside of one of the largets ancestrial shrines in Hong Kong.

One of the neat things Jay got to do this time around was go to the Hong Kong temple and take in a session.  They actually ended up doing inititories for over an hour before they did the session and then some of the members took them out to dinner.  The Branch President gave Jay a tie that has in the Chinese writting a quote by Pres. David O. McKay.  I don't think Jay will forget that experience any time soon.  Next stop for him....HOME!!!!!!!!!

Valentines Day/Anniversarry make up

As we've come to see with being in the navy there are times where Jay will miss holidays and special occasions.  This current deployment seems to be showing us that in spades.  Jay told me a few weeks ago that he ordered me something special for Valentines day and to make up for missing our Anniversarry, which was back in Janurary.  Well since then I've been wondering just exactly what he was up to, until yesterday.

Yesterday the first of my gifts arrived and boy was I suprised with what he did.

 3 dozen roses in a vase

 A cute little teddy bear

 Bath stuff, chocolates and a very sweet message.  The message almost made me cry because of how much love he put into it.

Then today the second part arrived.  This was to make up for missing our anniversarry thanks to the deployment.

 It's an Eternity Pearl Necklace to symbolize our love and our marriage for time and all eternity.

It's small and elegant and I can't wait to wear it (and yes those pearls are real).  Jay really went all out this year.  I am truly greatful to have him in my life.

Port Call: Malaysia

Jay just had a port call in Malaysia.  It wasn't exactly the best of ports for doing things.  Jay and one of his port buddies, they have to go out in groups of 2 people or more for safety, stayed in a hostel with internet so we got to do a lot of webcaming with him.  The kids just loved that.  Kaden fought with me regularly for Jay's attention and did awesome at interacting with his dad.  Jay loved seeing the kids and especially thought it was truly wonderful that Kaden was interacting with him and just telling him everything.

One day they did some archery as an activity.  Jay did the best, mostly because he was the only one who was sober in the group.

 They had some open markets to shop in and so Jay did that as part of his time there, picking up souvenirs.

One thing that is popular in the Asian cultures is to have these fish clean your feet.  They eat all of the dead skin off the bottoms and sides of your feet.  Jay did it and said it was an interesting experience, but that his feet did feel better after having that done.

Overall, there just wasn't much to do in this port.  Only one more port to go until he is home.  Our time apart is winding down and we can't wait for him to be here. 

Port Call: Thiland

Yup thats right Jay hit another port: Puket, Thiland (no I can't spell so get over it).  This was a short port and it happened at the same time as Kaden's birthday.  We got to webcam with Jay for a bit over the few days he was there, one of which was Kaden's actual birthday, and boy did the kids love it.  The ship going to Thiland means we are that much closer to them coming home!!!!!!!

Like every port that Jay goes to he did a tour of the area with a group from his ship.

 At a waterfall during the tour.  By the way this is one of my favorite pictures of him.

 Holding a python, another part of the tour.

 Him and a good friend of his from the ship (David) on top of an elephant.

The tour group from the ship during a break.

It was so wonderful to see him after a month of them being out to sea.  We are already starting to prepare for the big day that the ship pulls into home port here in San Deigo.  Each day is another day closer to being reunited with him.

Kaden turns 5!

Last Wednesday Kaden turned 5 (I know I'm a week behind, but its for good reason).  I can't believe he's now 5 years old.  This birthday was truly special for him because in the morning he got to webcam with Jay while opening some of his birthday presents. (hense the reason why)  Both of them loved that hour together and just had a great time.  The theme for Kaden's birthday: Transformers.

Kaden loves them so that is what the focus was on.

 Kaden showing Jay what he got for his birthday.

 The Transformers: BumbleBee(yellow car), Dead End (Bad guy, black car), Croma (blue bike), Sideswipe (the actual robot) and then Skids (green car that you can't see).  He loves these toys and is constantly playing with them and "transforming" them from cars to robots.

 His birthday cake: Transfomers Optimus Prime mask

Kaden said the best part of his birthday was getting to talk and visit with Jay over the webcam.  That made Jay's day when I told him about it later on.